As i remembered

Hmm... its less than 2 weeks before the big gig on the 24th. We're all hype out but still i'm still heavy hearted since my dad passed away.

Me and dad was not always in the same direction. We're not close at all to say at first. We're both a bit ego i think. One thing i couldn't forget was the week after my gig a few month ago. I brought back home and paste a lot of pictures of the gig we have performed earlier. I also put in a few video recording clip on my desktop. He didn't want to see my clip when i put it on. I don't care at all if he were to see it or not. Few of my relatives also come and watch the clip.

That night, while i was sleeping, at around 2 something i woke up. I saw the hall light was on. The computer was at the hall. There he was, looking thru my entire clip with his hand tapping the computer table. And i, i just stand there, feeling happy. Happy to know that he's proud of what i'm doing. For that memories was PRICELESS.

This coming 24th... i promiss that it will be a big gig for cloudburst. For it will be a special day that i will perform as a token of appreciation for my dad. I will make u proud someday. You will be proud. Tak kira how much i dis-obey u, how much i yell and scream at you, how much i ignore you... ur the person that i respect the most. Semoga dia ditempat yang baik disana. Amin!!!

Al Fatihah!!!

Blow the outside world

Nothing seems to kill me no matter how hard I try
Nothing is closing my eyes
Nothing can beat me down for your pain or delight
And nothing seems to break me
No matter how hard I fall nothing can break me at all
Not one for giving up though not invincible I know

I've given everything I need
I'd give you everything I own
I'd give in if it could at least be ours alone
I've given everything I could
To blow it to hell and gone
Burrow down in and
Blow up the outside world

Someone tried to tell me something
Don't let the world get you down
Nothing will do me in before I do myself
So save it for your own and the ones you can help

Want to make it understood
Wanting though I never would
Trying though I know it's wrong
Blowing it to hell and gone
Wishing though I never could
Blow up the outside world

Running on low

Mom is trying to play cool...but deep down, she's not. I myself are trying to pick myself up. Sure is different without a father figure in the house now. Damn... i just couldn't find what to write anymore. In the end... all i can do is to pray for his best.

Mom is now looking up to me and has brought up the question of my future. Nak cucu dah pulak. Ntah la mak... no ideas.

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"Now i feel, i'm going older,
And the song that i've sung, echo in the distance,
Like a sound, of a windmill going round,
Guess i'll always be a soldier of fortune".
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" Whatsoever I've feared has come to life
Whatsoever I've fought off became my life
Just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile
Sunspots have faded and I'm doine time
Cause I fell on black days

Whomsoever I've cured I've sickened now
Whomsoever I've cradled I've put you down
I'm a search light soul
They say but I can't see it in the night
I'm only faking when I get it right
Cause I fell on black days
How would I know that this could be my fate".

The Saddest Week in Life

Ya Allah... this might have been the toughest week i've endured. As my dad passed away a week ago, Khaliz grandma followed. She died on the 5th on December 2005. I'm still tired by all the driving. Today... i lost another great person in my family. My most beloved uncle died today following his brother footsteps. Moga moga Tuhan cucuri rahmat keatas mereka.

Al- Fatihah

I'm sad... so sad.

(But i know that my uncle is heading to HEAVEN because Allah has already promise him one (my uncle is "Special"-if u can understand)

Tears In Heaven

As most of you would know, on the 28th of November, my father died at the age of 63. After suffering nearly 3 month of pain suffered upon the aftermath of his car accident.

Moga Allah mencucuri rahmat keatas roh ayahanda.

Hope that ayah won't worry about the family for i have commit myself on giving what the family needs. I'll took over the family with grace and hope someday when we met, u can say that u're proud of me. Amin!!!

P/s: I'm heart broken for i couldn't see him defore he passed away. Eventho i have the chance to baca yassin, mandikan jenazah my dad, and tanamkan... rasanya tak cukup. Plus, when mother called me to inform about him, i was busy celebrating my birthday dinner... my first and only birthday dinner. It will be a memorable birthday for me as i buried my late father, on the 29th of November at 11.00 a.m. That is the saddest birthday present i'd ever had.

ALLAH AMPUNKAN DOSA DOSANYA...